A Tornado Meets a Volcano
by StellaBlueBella
Summary: Written for the Jukebox Contest. Inspired by Eminem's "Love the Way You Lie". Did James love Victoria, did she care for Riley? Would Edward lie and where is Victoria now? An alternate POV for Eclipse chap 24 Snap Decision


**A/N: **This is my first attempt at writing a fanfic. Written for the Jukebox Contest. Any and all feedback will be greatly appreciated. My many thanks to Openhome for beta'ing my little fic. Her honesty, insight and most of all patience were beyond generous and totally inspiring.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. All things Twilight are SM's. Musical inspiration provided by Eminem and Rihanna.

**Lyrics: **Honestly, this song isn't a part of my usual genre but, it speaks a very relevant topic with such powerful imagery I couldn't resist. If by some chance you aren't familiar with this one you should at least Google the lyrics even if you don't want to listen to song.

Next time

There will be no next time

I apologize even though I know it's lies

I'm tired of the games I just want her back

I know I'm a liar

If she ever tries to fucking leave again

I'mma tie her to the bed and set the house on fire

I have no idea where I am. Nor can I tell you what this place is – only what it feels like. I am confined, constantly on the verge of claustrophobia yet at the same time skimming by on a revolving plane of infinite nothingness. Even time no longer exists. I cannot be absolutely certain that anything more than my mind remains as I have not yet gathered the courage to look down for my once trusted hands.

The best possible explanation is that I've somehow gotten lucky and made it into Purgatory. A much more likely scenario is that I'm destined to spend eternity reliving my every minuscule decision in a solitary Hell. All I truly know is that I am alone in this place - with no way out - even if it is only in my own mind.

There is a window. I never noticed its appearance or felt of its absence. Maybe it has been here all along only I refused to acknowledge it. I cannot tell you how long I've been cognizant of the window. What I do know is the sliver of light radiating through the bottom sill is what finally drew my attention to its presence.

Be it right or wrong, I've honestly never been the type to contemplate spiritual affairs or celestial beings, even during my human life. Yet I have come to realize this window I am face-to-face with is the window to your souls. It is cracked open expectantly… patiently waiting for me to share my story – to bare my own soul to you.

It would be hard to ignore the fact that every single one of you already judges me but perhaps it is your place to do so.

Although I hadn't given it much thought, I had assumed my judgment would be served by an infinitely superior being, not a collection of weak human souls such as yours. It must be true; _the meek have inherited the Earth._ The one and only reason I will submit to humbling myself before you is the urging of my instincts. Confession must be the key to escaping this non-existence.

Undoubtedly some of you already hate me. Maybe some kind hearted souls even pity me. But probably most of you just think me nothing more than a filthy whore to be dismissed with the wave of your hand, the turn of a page. My heart will recover from such assaults, I assure you.

My story will be considered insanity by some of your fine standards but it's mine and apparently it's all I've got left. It's been said that the best place to start is the beginning. The trouble is it's not always so easy to tell the beginning from the end or the start from the middle. By the time I shook my head incredulously, wondering "How could this have happened to _me_?" it was far too late. The tides had turned. I suppose that's typical when life gets out of hand.

But, of course, I am _sure_ none of you would know anything about finding yourselves in a position like that. Sorry to scare you dears but in some ways we are not all that different...

I desperately wanted to believe James and I were two opposite yet equally destructive forces colliding, not bothering to pity the humanity doomed to bare our fallout. Even in his vulnerable human form, James taught me a thing or two about carnage – not that I would've ever confessed that to him. I was in awe of the way he allowed the pure predator to take over his being. He became an animal that was impossible to resist.

Even though he wasn't the most beautiful creature I'd ever laid sights on, something about him did catch my eye but, that was the least of it. The pull was, for lack of a better word, magnetic. Every former-fiber of my crystalized being was mentally and physically drawn to him. Maybe it was a force of nature beyond either of our control…

I'm getting ahead of myself. This isn't the place to start. I ought to pick up where we last left off which means I won't start at the beginning or the end but about 27 minutes prior to the only time I allowed you to truly encounter me. I am certain you will recall that fateful journey Riley and I made through the wilderness of the Olympic Peninsula.

I knew for that day to be a success I would have to let go of the need to analyze and make decisions. It's not as easy as it sounds, especially considering the newborn-like state of my present company, but I'd become expert at it. Still it took all my self-control to keep from getting caught up in the chase… or snapping at Riley. Can you blame me for being a touch edgy under the circumstances?

I'd stopped to take a few deep but physically unnecessary breaths. I was about to reap the rewards of all my hard work and I was determined to savor it. The previous months were a tribute to my patience, a rare quality I've always prided myself on. My mind was becoming open and free as we made our way through the forest.

However, since Riley continued to outpace me, it was a constant struggle to keep agitation at bay. I needed to keep a close watch on him and he was making me feel rushed. Clearly, I had gotten used to working alone again. Alone again… The thought echoed in my mind while my body ached with longing for the one I was destined to be without for the remainder of eternity.

Summoning every ounce of inner calm I stopped again without warning, waiting for Riley to notice I was no longer next to him.

"Patience is a virtue, love" I cooed using the sweetest sing-song voice in my repertoire. "I thought you wanted to be with me… Would you have rather gone with the others?" Of course he was instantly by my side. "Don't you want me?" I ran my hands across his hard chest. He was still so deliciously young and strong.

Wait.

I can feel all your eyes on me. Yes, my true mate will always be James whether or not we are separated by death but, that doesn't mean I didn't need Riley… in more ways than one.

Riley's only response was a rough kiss as he pushed my back against the nearest tree. He crushed his body against mine; grabbing my hips he pushed me up the tree so that our bodies aligned, layers of bark becoming sprays of shrapnel assaulting the surrounding forest. I will say there are definitely some advantages to having a not-so-newborn vampire around. He desire for me was practically tangible.

"Oh Riley, now is not the time for that." Panting I pushed him away and watched his face fall. "If we can just stand the wait a little longer, we can finally truly be together – free from our enemies and unrestrained. I long for that time, don't you my love?" With a grunt he released his hold on my hips, obviously enjoying the friction as he allowed by body to slide back down to the ground.

I took another deep breath in order to regain my composure. Our struggle did not catch me by surprise. I was mentally prepared for this. "Breath baby" I urged him. As he followed my instructions, sucking in deeply, his face became contorted and confused. "What is that stench?" his lips curling over his teeth and an unintentional hiss escaped my throat.

If it weren't for James' many misadventures I would have been as lost as Riley. I would never forget the wolf that nearly claimed him. I sighed, at least he would have been left with his dignity had he died in the clutches of a werewolf. And that would have been something. Instead he was degraded, brought to his death over nothing more than a midnight snack.

"Follow the scent Riley!" I seethed, my body instinctively crouching toward the vague trail of scent, my hair ripping in the wind, blazing strands slapping his face. "This is not a coincidence. The source of that vile smell is exactly what destroyed my dear brother Laurent."

I turned to look up at his crimson eyes. "They mutilated him Riley." Until this moment, I'd always maintained powerful and controlled demeanor in Riley's presence but now I chose to let him hear the pain in my voice.

His jaw remained clenched as we climbed up the steep mountainside. "You believe these dogs guard her don't you?" He asked.

I nearly felt bad for him. It was evident from his deeply furrowed brow that his young mind was struggling to piece together this change of events. Everything was a threat to him, just in varying degrees.

"I am certain of it Riley. Prepare yourself, we know the mind-reader will be with her, breathe deeply and clear your thoughts."

I needed him confident and aggressive; there was no time for second-guessing now. Hoping he would take comfort from a bit of gentle coaching I explained, "This is excellent; we have the element of surprise as an added advantage. It's laughable really. They thought we could be outsmarted so easily."

Purring in his ear as slid my hands up his solid frame, "Riley you are turning out to be quite an asset, what would I have done without you?"

It was true, he was nothing like James but, extremely useful none the less. My interest in Riley had been greatly aroused after seeing his savageness when dealing with that renegade newborn, Diego. His ability to lead at such a young age was an astounding gift and I was intrigued to see what would become of him if he remained in my tutelage. He deserved a little ego stroking.

At that instant I knew that we or our thoughts rather, were approaching the mind-reader's range. I can't explain it – how I know things like this, I simply do. This may cause you to scoff and think me a simple creature. I believe some of you have even called me 'elemental'. I am a very instinctual person and I have learned to trust in that. Although I rely on my instincts, I am by no means of basic intellect.

In fact, I'd been able to maneuver around the Cullen's for months – a task even the Volturi are ill-equipped to handle. This was something little Jane had been counting on. She couldn't wait to use my victory as a credit to her own cunningness. The pitiful child remains blind to her precarious spot in Aro's web and she'll do anything to please him. At the time I lacked any interest in her outcome; looking back I can't help but ponder what a likely and convenient ally she would have made, with careful guidance from me of course – If only I'd had an ounce of concern. But alas, what's done is done…

Anyhow, I simply knew the mind-reader would be picking up on our thoughts at any moment. I don't know much about his gift but I was hoping that Riley's loud, likely obnoxious thoughts would initially drown out my own. However my main concern was Riley's reaction to the werewolf. Even though he knew the beast awaited us, I feared such a massive and lethal creature would give him pause, a potentially deadly error, as Riley had never been anywhere but the top of his food chain. Maybe if I had better prepared him things would be very different – for both of us – today. I really should have seen that one coming considering what became of Laurent.

_Edward Cullen._

Your human minds are unable to comprehend the physical agony it causes me to simply speak his name; he makes me beyond nauseous. As much as I longed to cry over James, I wanted to vomit my entire inner-being because of Edward. However it has not escaped my attention that most of you are quite literally dripping and drooling all over yourselves with adoration for this particular male. Agreeing to disagree for the sake of this conversation is as generous as I am capable of being. I won't attempt to convince you that he is the despicable creature I know him to be. That being said, I won't apologize for any pain hearing this may cause you. The truth hurts.

That should explain why the heartbreak of reliving my story becomes almost unbearable for me from here forward.

My intention from the very beginning was to make Edward comprehend the error of his ways. Slaughtering my mate was equivalent to a human receiving the death penalty for killing his neighbor's dog. I was going to trap Edward's mind in the hell he had created for me so he could live it for himself. See that the insignificant lifespan of his precious pet human could never be comparable to the life of James, nor could their love be near the depth of ours, or his _potential_ loss of her be equal to my own grief. We'd done nothing to deserve the agony and separation Edward's coven inflicted upon us.

And as it turned out, the object of his bizarre human fetish was so inconsequential that he left her, without so much as a glance backward, before I could've even wiped away my tears… if only I were able to cry. Yet he deemed her worth the incineration of my James. Oh how I wish I could cry for James with every second of my existence. Yes, revenge was my ultimate goal but to be satisfied I needed Edward to realize he deserved the pain I was going to inflict upon him, whether he acknowledged it or not – I was certain I would be able to recognize the glint of comprehension in his eyes.

As we continued our approach, I was confident Edward would be able to hear my distinct thoughts. I had no doubt in my ability to show Edward the error of his ways.

I was caught by surprise by how difficult it was becoming to retain control of my emotions in his presence. How dare he destroy my mate over that insignificant piece of human flesh? One hardly enough to make a meal out of at that! Why was I struggling? I had been so looking forward to showing him every angle of my hellish existence, repeatedly, for as long as I could until Riley finally had his way with him.

Wait. Stop rolling your eyes.

Hindsight is 20/20 but none of you would know a thing about that now would you….?

I don't know if it made any difference or not but as we approached him, I visualized my thoughts beaming out of my mind in an attempt to make their way directly to Edward.

I allowed the anguish of grief and separation to wash over me in waves, realizing that, unlike fleeting human emotions, time would never heal my permanent vampyric wounds. My only consolation was in knowing Edward was right there with me. I will share the thoughts I beamed out to Edward, with you. Feel honored.

_Everywhere I go everything I do, that I see reminds me of you. From night's dark shadows to the midday sun, you are everywhere. I am always coming undone. Since the day I first caught sight of you I knew I could never be without you. I have worked so hard for this, for you. You would be proud of me… I think. Yet, here I am still hollow and shattered, nothing but a fragmented mess._

With trepidation, I allowed my thoughts to sink back down to forbidden regions, to subjects that were off-limits even while James was still with me, to the night he first met me. Maybe some of you already know this for yourselves but, tip toeing through your own mind, your own past is not an enviable existence. Yet I managed to endure it for ages.

"Have you not felt my whispers breathe upon on your neck?" I knew he had, on some level, become aware of my presence. "Yet you pretend not to know me..." The intoxicating effects of my voice had already begun to slow my captive's senses, as impressive as they were for a human he was still rendered helpless. I ran my cold white finger along the side of his warm human cheek. "So soft" I murmured unable to restrain myself.

"I have secretly followed you countless times along these city streets… as you stalked your prey in the dead of night. Has the hint of me not provoked you, tantalized you nearly to madness?" I had watched from afar as his frustration mounted. Smirking as I recalled the little game we played – even if he was unaware. Just as a cat leaves the carcasses of her prey on the doorstep of her beloved master as a gift, I too had displayed my respect for this natural hunter. Truly, I couldn't help showing off a bit, leaving the bodies of his intended victims laying out lovely and cold for him to find. They never satisfied my hunger at all… They bored me, the young girls he stalked and terrorized until he finally decided to torture them to their death. I felt his body stiffen and his pulse race as he perceived my words to be an accusation, a very natural reaction, even for a being as inhuman as him.

The burn in my own throat screamed in anticipation like a spoiled child.

"_Detach yourself Victoria, detach_". I had learned from past failures the only chance to succeed at this was to make sure the human's heartbeat was slow and steady. Blood pumping too quickly caused things to get out of hand and quite sloppy. Literally, the last thing I needed was another bloody mess on my hands. "No, no, hush, hush. Don't do that, I am not here to haunt you." I reassured, my most hypnotizing purr humming in his ear. This had to work; I knew I only had one chance. If things didn't go as planned I would have no choice but to drain him. I sighed, what a waste of potential that would be.

"Your stalking for the kill pleases me, endears you to me in fact." His heart began to calm its rapid pace. I stroked his cheek again as that seemed to help ease his fears. The last thing I needed was for him to end up in cardiac arrest. "I know you predator, better than you know yourself. I understand you; I have felt your turmoil. Let me relieve you of your humanity, of your suffering."

In a movement so quick and fluid his human eyes could not register it; I was standing in front him, my cold hard body inches from his chest. "I will show you a new way to hunt." Even in his state of terror, he managed to meet my gaze and raise one brow in doubt before panic had a chance to set in as he viewed my crimson eyes. The pride I felt in that moment would have warmed my heart if I'd had one. Yes he was my prey, large game but, prey nonetheless. However he pleased me and I had plans for him. So as tempting as he was making it, I simply refused to acknowledge his fear. Doing so would only serve to escalate the situation.

"You scoff? Yes, my form is slight but it is unyielding. Touch me, come and know for yourself." Leaning forward in invitation, as I doubted any female ever had before, I grasped his hand and pressed it against the swell of my breast, where he ought to have been able to feel my long dead heart's beat. I couldn't help but allow a smile twitch across my face as I saw the realization forming in his eyes. He was a moth to my flame. I stepped in even closer feeling the heat of his body and allowing him to fully take in my scent.

"Come to me, I will protect you from all the strife that surrounds you. I am merely a silhouette of existence – the appearance of something real. Fade into to me and take cover in my arms. I am a veil in the wind, a ghost." I could tell from his hooded eyes that he was now lost in my trance. He responded so readily, poor soul had never known an ounce of affection. He made it easy really. If I had felt even an inkling guilt for what I was about to do, it would have been washed away in that moment. Mesmerized, he didn't even flinch as I nuzzled closer into to his neck.

"I am a shadow. I am the cover of shade. My shelter will conceal you – obscure you. I am nothing but a hint, a suggestion of something real. I will leave nothing more than a trace to linger in your mind, a haze, a figment of the imagination." He breathed in through my hair as I chanted my lullaby.

"There is another world you never dreamed existed alongside of your own flat reality. Let me show you the way. There I will be your sire." His thoughts were clouded and heavy from my trance but, I could feel his mind's attempt to question my meaning. I had to act quickly. "Trust in this, your command is eminent. You will have power beyond what your human mind can imagine. All because I have chosen you; you will dominate the world that surrounds you. You will become the ultimate predator. This is my gift to you. You have earned it, you deserve nothing less."

He let out one guttural moan as I sunk my teeth into the warm flesh of his neck, sucking his thickly flowing blood and draining him of his humanity. I did not envy the next three days of his existence but, I told him no lies. With my care and grooming, he would practically become a god. He showed such promise, even as a human, that my anticipation was already building.

Those were the longest days of James' existence. However for me, time stood still.

I watched my venom, my fire, slowly burn through his body. There was a devastating beauty in it – In the same way I imagine the birth of a child is beautiful even though a horrifically bloody process. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He was a phoenix rising from the ashes of his miserable human existence. I wouldn't allow myself to become burdened with guilt as I listened to his cries. I was doing him a kindness by removing him from the human life where it was painfully clear he would never be able to reach his full, glorious potential.

While my newborn grew agitated and restless of my lullabies as his strength emerged, the embers of self-doubt were beginning to flicker in dark corners of my mind. The transformation process from human to vampire is indeed a torturous one but the depravity that spilled from James' mouth while he endured the burn fanned disquiet sparks to the recesses of my conscious. Truthfully, I had hoped to find in him my mate but at that point I suspected him to be incapable such a strong attachment, of love.

I have never been afraid to face the truth before but what choice did I have other than to deny these thoughts access to my conscious mind? I couldn't reverse the process; I couldn't let him loose upon humanity. He was maniacal. Setting him free would surely force the hand of the Volturi. Regret would only serve to cloud my mind.

My training for him was already underway and anything less than the sharpest of focus would prove lethal. Even if I could bring myself to destroy him, I doubted my own ability to overpower his newborn body

As if he sensed my murderous contemplation, James' molten eyes shot open, searing into me, as hisses of pure rage spewed from his mouth. Bewildered by his ferocity, I found myself inching back into the corner of my bedroom. I had NEVER been backed into any corner let alone one in my own room. Eventually he would thank me but his newborn mind was barely awake, comprehending nothing but the burning thirst in his throat… And that I was afflicter of the excruciating agony he had endured the past three days.

"Jezebel" he snarled as he crouched lower to the ground, readying himself to spring to attack, snapping his jaws like a feral animal. Finally, before I was actually in any real danger, my mind was lifted from its frozen state of distress. Effortlessly, I leapt well out of his grasp. In one graceful movement I'd repositioned myself along the perimeter bedroom wall.

This is what I had been waiting for.

"Hmmm" laughter tinkled from my throat. "Make me pay for it then." as I shot him a taunting look over my shoulder. He watched me climb out of the window in a move so fast his human eyes would never have been able to see it.

Newborns are initially shocked as they begin to comprehend their newfound strength. Most fear it at first, if only for a few seconds. As I'd hoped, James showed no hesitation. He bounded through the window after me, closing his eyes, relaxing into the movement as a look of bliss formed across his face. He was a natural. His strength was incredible but I knew it would take months before he could even begin to hope to be my match.

The day he awoke I let him chase me deep into the wilderness, leading him to feed on a group of lumberjacks, saving only one for myself. He simply grunted that they tasted "male". Actually, it reminded me a lot of my current location…

"Riley!" I hissed. He was boldly marching ahead about to depart from the concealment of the shadowy shade of our forest straight into the sun and our enemy's encampment. Thankfully he halted.

Remembering how different James was during combat filled me with hollow longing. Even as a young vampire, James was protective of me. He was always aware of my location, making certain I had the tactical vantage point. Even I could admit that I needed exploit every opportunity during these situations. I was created to avoid confrontation, not engage in it. But now, without James or Laurent, the burden rested solely on my shoulders.

As we moved forward, I remained a few steps behind Riley, taking in my brightly lit surroundings. I was so close to the source of all my afflictions and his so-called mate. The wolf had to be nearby, the stench was overpowering. Surely Edward realized we could smell the dog? What was he planning? James would've known exactly what to do…

In the beginning James was naturally a wild beast, his bloodlust all-consuming leaving no room for other desires like that of a mate. Months went by and I was still apprehensive about having him out of my sight. Not that my comfort level was ever of particular concern to him. He was well aware of his gift as a tracker and he attempted to use his gift to control the world around him – including me. Confidence in my own gift of evasion enabled me tolerate his need to dominate; I could escape any time I pleased but of course I knew better than to show my hand until necessary.

This existence came effortlessly to James; he never had a reason to doubt that I was his, by his own doing. It didn't seem to occur to him that I was the one who found him. I never gave him cause to question the status quo because his possessiveness was endearing, even if it wasn't love – it was something.

I was surprised, flattered really, when he felt the need to claim me not long after his rebirth.

My dear friend Laurent's curiosity finally got the better of him and he came to see my new creation for himself. I assumed James would recognize his scent as a familiar since Laurent had been in my cottage earlier the same day I first brought James home. I was mistaken.

Upon sensing Laurent, James immediately took a protective stance in front of me, baring his teeth, effectively claiming me as his own.

I'll never be able to forget the expression on Laurent's face as he shot a questioning look in my direction. "I hadn't realized you require the services of a ruffian, you no longer wish to fend for yourself sister? You should have come to _me_ if you needed help."

Before I could reprimand him for intentionally goading my newborn, James pinned him to the ground, his teeth pressed against Laurent's exposed neck, poised to rip him to shreds. Secretly, I was proud of James' ability to show restraint.

"Call of your buffoon Victoria! Are you trying to get me killed?" Laurent huffed.

As I laughed James' stance relaxed infinitesimally. "It looks like you're doing a fine job of that yourself! James, I'd like you to meet my dear friend Laurent. Please allow him to stand so that I may properly introduce you."

He did as I asked never threatening Laurent again. In fact Laurent joined our small coven not long afterwards but, that first day James hovered over me, never allowing this other male near me.

I missed our usual embrace when Laurent left. Had I known the day would come that I would never see his beautiful face again, I would not have placated James so readily. I would have insisted on our familiar displays of affection.

However that day it occurred to me, even in his newborn state, James never once questioned the nature of our relationship. His loyalty was automatic and unflinching but his possessiveness eventually came to suffocate me - even though I had no need to breathe.

"She doesn't love you Riley. She wants you to die."

My focus immediately snapped back to the present. I knew beyond a doubt if I couldn't get my head together we would fail, to the death. While lost in the past again I had followed Riley, like a sheep, completely out from under the cover of the forest and now Edward and he were in a face-to-face confrontation.

Just as Edward had to realize Riley would never believe him, he must have known I had no intention of letting Riley be disposed of; he had proven himself far too valuable for me to allow that to happen. Edward simply wanted to appear charitable in the eyes of his human. Watching his fiendish manipulation unfold was surreal – making me detached from the fact that his lies were against me.

Then I was only capable of seeing Edward's human as a sacrificial lamb. Now, I can't help but wonder if I'd allowed myself to feel even the most disdainful of pities for the feebleminded child he was so desperate to deceive, could Riley's and my fates have been altered?

My hatred, my need for vengeance was my bondage to whose chains I tightly clung. I was unable to see that all I had to do was let them go and they would no longer imprison me. If only I'd realized then that I could have set myself free at any time…

_Love..._ What could Edward with his twisted fetishes possibly know of love?

I, on the other hand, would never be able forget the day James made his intentions toward me clear. Not that I would ever want to. It was a classic scenario of cat and mouse.

Our lives had become ruled by James thirst and the macabre games he invented to torment our victims. While his pursuits were entertaining at times, even Laurent liked to join in the play, they were not something I would have ever done on my own… It was unsettling at times, even to the likes of me. Yet I never protested, not once, not even during the most heinous of assaults.

All the while, I was watching, waiting for some sign to emerge from James – anything that would indicate he was capable of a deeper connection, of eventually becoming my mate.

It was a double edged sword. My feelings of frustration and denial fed my fixation. Yet they simultaneously caused my patients to grow thin. Tension mounted within me as I felt my "self" slipping away, being consumed by all that was James.

Gradually, awareness of my personal erosion grew. This awareness was not caused by some dramatic catalyst but rather by an instinct for self-preservation; the time had come for me to stop coddling James and his delusions of grandeur.

So I took flight, as I referred to it in those days, thanking my ability to practically vanish into thin air. James was able to track any human he pleased and nearly all vampires too but in me he had met his match. I found great satisfaction in knowing that my gift coupled with decades of experience would make it impossible for him to hunt me down.

I wasn't clear what his motives were. He was possessive and at times even protective of me but, I was not his mate. Nor did he ever show any indication that he was unsatisfied with our current circumstance. I didn't know exactly why he would feel the need to track me but, I knew he would. Perhaps the torment of believing there was even one creature who could escape him would be motivation enough.

Thankfully, I wasn't present to witness his fit of rage as he vented his anger and disbelief of my disappearance. The shredded birch trees strewn across the small clearing that made up the yard around my home were evidence enough of what occurred. I always saw a bit of myself in those birches, especially now in the fall. Perhaps James did too. Regardless of why, he knew how dear those old trees were to me and yet he annihilated them.

I attempted to return to home several times but always turned away at the sight of my demolished birches. Once beautiful and proud, they now represented the heartbroken state of affairs of my entire world. I longed for James to love me, to need me as his mate. After time spent wandering alone with my thoughts, I became resolute in the fact that it was painfully clear I was just another plaything to James, suited for his amusement.

Eventually though, I was defeated by loneliness. I missed Laurent – and James even if my feelings were unreciprocated. I became unconcerned whether he would be able to pick up my scent or not. I was homesick, nearly ready to give in and let myself be caught.

I had become careless yet it was unintentional the day I finally left a trail James was able to track. I had been gazing out across my property and home from a concealed location for some time, when turning to leave once again, I felt the air behind me splitting in my direction.

I looked up to see James soaring down towards me. I had no idea how long he'd stalked me from atop the pines above… Watching me watch my cottage while assuming he was in it.

He easily captured me, knocking me flat on my back against the damp earth. Holding my wrists above my head he restrained me with one hand while his free hand firmly clutched my thigh, just above my knee as I struggled to break free.

Breathing in his musky-sweet scent I knew should have been infuriated but his scent seemed to have an oddly sedative effect. With his body positioned above me, his face inches from mine I couldn't help but wonder how far his reach would be should he decide to release his current grasp on my thigh. I was unsure which feeling that thought evoked more – fear or excitement.

The only thing I could think to say as I attempted to maneuver to my freedom was, "Why the birches?"

James remained silent for a moment, I still suspect to this day, taking pleasure in the sounds of my struggle. Then he muttered,

"I am sorry for that."

He never once broke his intense gaze from my face while he apologized. Awestruck, I gasped then stilled, remorse was the last reaction I'd anticipated.

He released his hold around my thigh in order to softly stroke my cheek, much like I had done to him that night in the alley when he was my human prey. How the tables had turned.

Though he still held my arms above my head, he gave me a questioning look as he slowly lowered his lips toward mine, his free hand gliding from my cheek, down to caress my neck. My lips parted slightly, a sigh escaping.

That was all the permission he required as he let his body drop to rest against me, his lips meeting mine cautiously. I couldn't help but wonder if I was the only female to ever show him such affection – of her own free will. The thought was quickly erased from my mind as his tender embrace almost immediately turned fervent and full of need.

"Last chance Riley." Edward's whisper brought me back to the present.

This time I was finally able to respond quickly, "He's a liar Riley. I told you about their mind tricks."

But in that moment I knew it was already too late. I'd lost my focus and allowed the tide its opportunity to turn against me. The undertow now had me, my ankles firmly in its grasp, and was more than ready to carry me into oblivion.

While I watched Riley's limbs being torn from his body my instincts begged me to escape. But some other, even greater part of me wanted to see this through, regardless of the outcome. I wasn't ready to die – and certainly not for Riley's sake – but I wasn't ready to walk away either. And I was smart enough to know that if I was unsuccessful in my endeavors that day, the Edward and his coven would be the least of my concerns. The Volturi would not rest until my head was rolling and my body burning. As much as it sickens me to admit this, death at Edward's hands would be infinitely more merciful than at those of any of the Volturi's minions. So I chose to remain and face Edward alone.

At that point, my instincts took over, my mind no longer controlling my body. I'd pushed myself too far. I was the one who had been broken, not Edward, in my attempt to make him pay. I became completely detached from the physical battle that raged between us as my vampire life flashed before me.

Out of body experiences surely fall into the category of spiritual things I'd never previously contemplated but now that I was experiencing one firsthand I knew without a doubt what was happening. I watched the attack taking place as if I were simply a removed bystander.

At the same time I was reliving so many memories at once, mostly of James. Our first kiss which I have already shared with you, his temper – each of our struggles for dominance, his scent, his touch when we finally claimed each other completely, the pain we inflicted on each other, Laurent, our victims, even bits of my human existence all stampeding through my mind attempting to be the front runner.

And, as they say, the rest is history. At the risk of sounding cliché, it was all a blur. A painful, burning blur.

Honestly, if I could share every memory of those final moments with you in crisp detail I would, without hesitation. But as you can surely see, I am terribly fatigued. Recounting this nightmare has been more devastating than you can possibly imagine. I ask that you show your humanity and grant me a reprieve.

Know that I will continue on in this place, on my infinite plane of sorrow. I am still too afraid to look down to discover what remains of my… remains. My eyes will stay fixed straight ahead, gazing out at the nothingness. For how long I do not know. It is a more demanding task than one might imagine.

And surely you have better things to do than bear witness to the degradation of my prideful soul. First, I was burnt alive. Now I realize that I am crucified. My hands are nailed by pride and sorrow, my feet by regret and self-pity. You may leave comforted, knowing that justice has finally apprehended me.

6


End file.
